Hello, strangers.
I'm not sure if anyone comes her anymore. I'm hardly here. I've been focused on getting my professional website and blog up and running. It's something I have to do in order to market myself. These are the things they don't teach you in school. My mother has also been in the hospital, so I had to go home for 2 weeks to see her. She's still in the hospital, but I had to come back to work, unfortunately. Her condition is still pretty serious, but we are seeing some improvements. She has some respiratory issues and will most likely be on oxygen support for the rest of her life. She seems ok with the news, but I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. I worry about her quality of life because she is still fairly young (early 50s).
I just get so frustrated because she has taken care of so many people, and I've also worried about the quality of life she is experiencing. Now I know that her quality of life will be affected, and it just doesn't seem fair to me. Sure, she isn't a perfect person, but I don't think she deserves this shit.
I feel like I just need a vacation from real life. I need to just go sit on a beach somewhere and get centered. I just want a break, even just for a day... to just sit and think and just be there. I worry that I'm going to reach my breaking point, and I'm trying to be so strong for mom.. and because I need to keep up with my own work and life.. and it's just difficult. I'm totally in touch with my emotions, and I'm not trying to push them away or anything like that. I just feel like there is only so much that one person can handle at a time, and I'm reaching that point...
But c'est la vie, right?! This is the hand I was dealt, so I need to accept it and deal with it. I'll get there. I just needed to vent.
