jobs, books, everything.. life at this moment

Hello, strangers.

I thought that since I was out of school now, I'd write more. That hasn't exactly been the case. I have re-written my resume, typed up a cover letter template, and revisited and revised that cover letter for each unique job that I've applied to. And let's just say that job hunting has been a full time job!

I'm actually looking more for a career than a job.. and right now, it has to be internship status. I love the field that I've chosen, but getting to where I want to be will still take a few more years. After graduating with my master's degree, I still have to take my licensing exam, and then do 3000 supervised hours. I feel like a perpetual student. Luckily, my intern status should at least come with payment, even if it is measly.

Anyway, I'm hoping to find an intern placement soon. Sitting at home filling out job applications and studying for my licensing exam isn't exactly fostering my creativity. I have been reading a lot though. I can totally lose myself in a book. I'm currently reading a trilogy. I started the first book on Friday and am already almost done with the 2nd book. I haven't read for pleasure (it's all been school related!) since January. I enjoy sitting down with a cup of tea after a long day of boring paperwork and completing losing myself in a book. I feel completing transported.. like I'm actually there watching the characters interact.. like someone on a movie set. It's quite a strange feeling, but a good one none-the-less. I'm able to relax and not worry about money, or finding a job, or what to cook for dinner. I've forgotten how much I love to read... and write for that matter..

As a teenager, I worked on a short story. It's not complete, but I still have it. I read it back recently, and it's not too bad. I love my 15 year old self for fully expressing her creativity. So brave to attempt to write a short story. Where has that person gone? I want to be like that again. So carefree. I found time to do what made me happy.. and that was writing. Now, I've been hit with reality.. HARD. Until I find a job, I can't devote extra time to my passion. Sometimes real life sucks. Needs vs. wants.. It always comes back to that. Yes, I do believe in balance. I do believe that I can live a balanced life of satisfying my needs and wants.. but right now, it's difficult. If I'm reading or writing, I'm not applying for jobs or studying for my exam. I start to feel guilty. But I need to shake that. I can't possibly be effective if I don't give myself some down time. Right? RIGHT! The code of ethics for my profession that I am bound by states that one must take time for self care. It's just so hard to remember that sometimes. I don't think society values self care like it should be valued. Probably the reason everyone is so unhealthy.. but that's a story for another day.

Anyway, I know I've rambled a lot. I apologize for the unorganized mess that this post is. I guess I just needed some place to vent. I shall re-think my next post.

Until next time....

My Twin Sister's Wedding

Hello, strangers.

Things are finally settling down for me. I graduated with my master's degree on May 12, then I took a trip home to Louisiana for my twin sister's wedding. The wedding was absolutely beautiful. My sister did such an amazing job planning it.

During the wedding, as maid of honor, I had to give a speech. I thought that it was fitting to post it in this blog post. It meant a lot to be to be able to speak at such an important event in my sister's life. I am so lucky to have her as my sister. :)

Here's the speech:

For the few of you who may not know me, I am Jondell, the bride’s twin sister. Today one of us is making a major life change…taking her own path… without the other, so please forgive me if I get a little choked up. Ever since the day I learned that I would have to make a maid of honor speech, I wondered how in the world I would get through it without crying… and I probably won’t.

My sister and I have been best friends our entire lives. In thinking A LOT about today, I’ve tried to come up with a way to explain the relationship that I have with her, and it’s proven to be quite impossible. There are no words that I feel come close to really expressing the connection I have with her. Simply put, we are 2 halves to a whole yet completely and uniquely individual. We are closer than close. As we’ve gotten older, there have been many people who have come and gone, but we have always been safe in the knowledge that we have each other. Even though we are sisters purely by chance, she is my best friend by choice.

As you can imagine, growing up, my sister and I shared everything… interests, clothes, friends, a room, secrets, our birthday. I even picked the same university as her because I couldn’t imagine not sharing that experience with her! I wish everyone could experience what it's like to know that there's one special person that you can say anything to and share everything with. That's what makes today so exciting. Sis, you will now have two such people in your life. You are the first of us to step beyond our circle of 2 and form a completely different kind of lifetime two-some. You are creating an entirely voluntary bond that is born of the love that you and Roger have for each other. Today is also a day that you get to call your very own. Today is the day that our life paths have fully diverged. While that may take a little time to get used to, I am so happy that Roger is the one that you will be walking down your own path with for the rest of your life.

Now, I want to say a little something about Roger. When I first met him, he was very quiet and would hardly talk to me. However, I really got to know him when he moved in with us during my sister’s last semester of college. (And by the way, I think that that move alone shows just how committed he is to my sister. He was willing to put his career on hold and move across the country to be with her. If that’s not true love, then I don’t know what is!) During this time, my relationship with Roger developed into a sort of brother-sister relationship… he would try to put his feet on me or send me pictures of feet through text messages (knowing I HATE feet)… he would steal my hot chocolate. I would get mad. Then when I’d take my daily afternoon nap, he’d run off to the store to buy me 2 new packages of hot chocolate. He was no longer quiet… at some points I could not get him to stop talking!! But in all seriousness, over the past 6 years, I’ve really come to see just how kind and generous Roger is and just how happy he makes my sister. Growing up, my sister always said she would never get married because she wanted to stay living with our parents forever. However, I’m glad that she was able to find someone who was able to change her mind. So, Roger, welcome to the inner circle. You are now my sister’s other half, the person who completes and balances her. Out of all the guys in the world, you are the man she’s chosen, the man she loves. My sister is kind, loyal, smart, generous, and she will love you with everything she has. She is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside… but I’m sure you already know that.

So, to wrap things up before I get too emotional… Roger, welcome to the family. I’d also like to welcome your family into our family. Sis, if I haven’t told you a million times already, you look absolutely beautiful tonight. Roger is a very lucky man. You will always be my best friend. I’m just happy that you were able to find someone else who I could share that honor with. To both of you, I am so honored to be a part of your special day. I have really enjoyed watching your love for one another grow over the last 6 years. I wish you both every bit of happiness as you embark on this exciting new journey together.