Hello, strangers.
I thought that since I was out of school now, I'd write more. That hasn't exactly been the case. I have re-written my resume, typed up a cover letter template, and revisited and revised that cover letter for each unique job that I've applied to. And let's just say that job hunting has been a full time job!
I'm actually looking more for a career than a job.. and right now, it has to be internship status. I love the field that I've chosen, but getting to where I want to be will still take a few more years. After graduating with my master's degree, I still have to take my licensing exam, and then do 3000 supervised hours. I feel like a perpetual student. Luckily, my intern status should at least come with payment, even if it is measly.
Anyway, I'm hoping to find an intern placement soon. Sitting at home filling out job applications and studying for my licensing exam isn't exactly fostering my creativity. I have been reading a lot though. I can totally lose myself in a book. I'm currently reading a trilogy. I started the first book on Friday and am already almost done with the 2nd book. I haven't read for pleasure (it's all been school related!) since January. I enjoy sitting down with a cup of tea after a long day of boring paperwork and completing losing myself in a book. I feel completing transported.. like I'm actually there watching the characters interact.. like someone on a movie set. It's quite a strange feeling, but a good one none-the-less. I'm able to relax and not worry about money, or finding a job, or what to cook for dinner. I've forgotten how much I love to read... and write for that matter..
As a teenager, I worked on a short story. It's not complete, but I still have it. I read it back recently, and it's not too bad. I love my 15 year old self for fully expressing her creativity. So brave to attempt to write a short story. Where has that person gone? I want to be like that again. So carefree. I found time to do what made me happy.. and that was writing. Now, I've been hit with reality.. HARD. Until I find a job, I can't devote extra time to my passion. Sometimes real life sucks. Needs vs. wants.. It always comes back to that. Yes, I do believe in balance. I do believe that I can live a balanced life of satisfying my needs and wants.. but right now, it's difficult. If I'm reading or writing, I'm not applying for jobs or studying for my exam. I start to feel guilty. But I need to shake that. I can't possibly be effective if I don't give myself some down time. Right? RIGHT! The code of ethics for my profession that I am bound by states that one must take time for self care. It's just so hard to remember that sometimes. I don't think society values self care like it should be valued. Probably the reason everyone is so unhealthy.. but that's a story for another day.
Anyway, I know I've rambled a lot. I apologize for the unorganized mess that this post is. I guess I just needed some place to vent. I shall re-think my next post.
Until next time....
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