Identity

Hello, strangers.

I started this blog for the reason I would say most people do... to let others see glimpses of the world through my eyes and to let them get a sense of who I am. It's not meant to be anything more than that really. I just needed some outlet to let "myself" out every once in a while. However, what I failed to realize is that these little glimpses don't give people an entire view of my world. This realization came to me last night as I was doing some work for school, although I've had experiences like this in the past. I've often been told that I turn out to be quite different than what people expect when they first meet me. I often get told that people thought I was going to be snobby. I think it's because I'm shy. I also had a now good friend tell me that she was intimidated by me and didn't think I would be nice, but then she was glad she got to know me. I see myself as a super nice person and I love making new friends, so I asked her why she thought I would be mean. She said it was because of the way I looked. Interesting. :) Anyway, back to the present...

I'm currently reading a book about archetypes that we live by, and in the book, there is this neat little quiz that helps you discover which archetypes are most present/dominant in your life and which ones aren't. However, not only did I have to fill out the quiz, I'm supposed to get a family member, a friend, and a coworker to fill it out as well. Since my boyfriend was lying in bed next to me as I took the quiz, I decided that he could act as a "friend" and fill it out as well. I told him to be completely honest and not to worry about hurting my feelings, and reluctantly, he took the little quiz.

Upon comparing our answers, I realized that the way I see myself is somewhat different than the way my  boyfriend views me, perhaps because of the limited amount things I share about myself with others. I mean, honestly, it's impossible to let someone else completely know what your world is like. It would be exhausting to even try...

So, I wanted to share the answers that were similar and the ones that were different. Basically, this book talks about six archetypes: the orphan, the wanderer, the warrior, the altruist, the innocent, and the magician. There are 6 questions, each with 2 columns of characteristics for the quiz. So, basically each person just checks off the characteristics that they feel fit the person (so, I checked off the ones I think fit my personality, and my boyfriend checked off the ones they he thought fit my personality). Column A had all the "positive" (+) qualities associated with the particular archetype, and Column B had all the "negative" (-) qualities associated with that archetype. It wasn't until the quiz was finished that I was able to see which archetype went with each question, but I'll talk about that more in a bit.

So, for the orphan archetype, my boyfriend and I both picked these characteristics that fit me: realistic (+) empathic (+), and a whiner (-). However, I also picked: resilient (+) and suspicious (-). I found it interesting that he picked the same ones as me, except for 2, and didn't have any others that I didn't pick. I also wondered why he didn't see me as resilient, but then I remembered that he's only been in my life for a little over 5 years, so perhaps he wasn't around during the times when I had to be resilient. :)

For the wanderer archetype, my boyfriend and I both picked: autonomous (+). I also picked: a divergent thinker (+), and he also picked: individualistic (+). I found it interesting that neither of us picked any "negative" qualities for this archetype for me, but again, it was things like "rebel" and "has trouble fitting in," which are not things that describe me at all.

For the warrior archetype, we both picked: a winner (+) and disciplined (+). However, our "negative" qualities differed. I picked: overly competitive (-), and he picked: stubborn (-). Interesting.

For the altruist archetype, we both picked: caring (+), conscientious (+), willing to sacrifice (+), and generous (+). He didn't pick any "negative" qualities for me, but I picked: intrusive (-) and controlling (-). I found this one incredibly interesting. I was almost certain he'd pick intrusive.. I mean, I'm always digging in his phone.. not because I don't trust him. I just think his text conversations with his friends are funny, and I like to read them. LOL.. Guess he didn't think of that. He told me he didn't pick controlling because I'm not a controlling girlfriend in any way. I thought it was interesting he only thought of that aspect of me because I know I'm not a controlling girlfriend, but when it comes to school, I'm a pretty controlling person. It just made me realize that he knows more about the girlfriend version of me than the school version of me. So, in reality, he doesn't see my whole world like I do every day.

For the innocent archetype, we both picked: optimistic (+), trustworthy (+), morally good (+), gullible (-), and goody-goody (-). Additionally, I chose: trusting (+) and naive (-). I inquired why he didn't think I was "trusting," and he said, "Well, you trust me, but I don't think you trust other people.. like when you work in groups at school, I know you get worried that other people won't do their work!" Haha. So, he thought of student me for this question. :)

Finally, for the magician archetype, he chose absolutely none of the characteristics. I chose: creative (+), a catalyst for change (+), and weird (-). Haha. When he was done, I again asked him about his answers. I said, "You really don't think I'm weird?! I feel weird." He said that he thinks I'm quite normal. Once again, I was intrigued by our differences. I thought it was interesting that I often feel "weird," although not in a bad way, but he doesn't see that.

So, as you can see from this lengthy post, we view me differently. There are characteristics that I see in myself but he doesn't, and there are characteristics that he sees in me that I don't. But the most interesting thing to me is that we're basing all of this on information provided by ONE person: me.

So, how can 2 people view one person differently? Well, maybe it's because of the way I present myself. Perhaps, I'm not always 100% real. Or maybe I'm biased and can't see certain aspects of myself... Or maybe the way he processes certain things is different than the way I do.. Perhaps when I act a certain way, he thinks it's because of a reason completely different than the reason I'm actually doing it. Maybe it's all of these reasons and more that I can't think of.

Regardless of the differences though, the 2 archetypes that we both found to be the most dominant in my life are: the innocent followed by the altruist. So, although some of the characteristic details are different, we both see my overall personality and have a good sense of who I am as a WHOLE person... and perhaps that's the most important part of all... :)